“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Oscar Wilde
IF YOU COULD have dinner with any of the following celebrities… who would you choose?
Donald Trump? Bill Gates? Dolly Parton? Princess Diana? Bill Clinton?
Your answer is likely to reveal a lot about how you are hardwired to lead and why some of your team members may be driving you to the edge.
If you have a team member who just isn’t listening to what you want and need (and maybe you’re so frustrated that your head is on the verge of swiveling off your neck), read on. What follows is likely to give you insight into why you are feeling this way…and what you can do about it.
But before we talk more about why you are “hardwired” to have better working-relationships with some team members more than with others, a quick backgrounder will help.
Was I Born This Way?
In the 1920’s, William Marston was an eminent psychologist and lawyer…and wanted to better understand how we approach our work and relationships.
Marston’s significant research determined that each of us approaches work and relationships using one of four primary styles. These four styles have come to be known as DiSC…Dominance; Influence; Steadiness; Conscientiousness.
While we are each a combination of all four styles, we each have a natural style that impacts every single relationship we have – professionally and personally. Using a sophisticated algorithm, the DiSC self-assessment reveals our natural style and how we “show-up” in the world.
So, if you’re feeling frustrated with one (or more) of your team members, chances are pretty good that your preferred communication styles are different and may be clashing.
The good news? Awareness of these differences can actually result in stronger relationships, stronger teams and better results.
How You Can Strengthen a Relationship and Get Better Results
Your and your team members’ natural styles – and how they interact – dramatically impact relationships and results. If there is a relationship that’s pushing you to the edge, take a moment to read an abbreviated summary of the four DiSC styles that follow, and then follow these three steps…you’ll be putting your head back on your neck before you know it!
1. Dominance: This is the part of us that strives for Results. We all have some “D.”
2. Influence: This is the part of us that strives for Relationships and Connection. We all have some “i .”
3. Steadiness: This is the part of us that strives for Harmony. We all have some “S.”
4. Conscientiousness: This is the part of us that strives for Accuracy and “getting it right.” We all have some “C.”
How’d it go? Do you have more insight into why that one team member (or colleague) tends to drive you a little bit nuts? If so, what can you do to move the relationship to a better place? You’re now on the road to strengthening that relationship and results.
A Personal Reflection:
I first took the DiSC self-assessment over 20 years ago. Everyday, it allows me to understand and appreciate the differences that my colleagues, friends and family members bring to my life and work. As someone who leads with the “i,” I have come to appreciate the directness and focus of my “D” colleagues; the unconditional commitment to team my “S” colleagues contribute everyday; and the thoughtfulness and quality focus of those who lead with “C.” These attributes are not “better” or “worse”than my own…they are simply different and help me see my work and my world in a much more complete way. Understanding and appreciating this has made all the difference in my own life.
Where do I go from here?
What’s your preferred communication style and how is it impacting your leadership, team and results? What about your team members’ styles? How are they similar to yours? Different? And what are the ramifications for the team and your work? As a leader, these are certainly questions worthy of further exploration. William Marston has given us a simple and powerful tool to do just that.
CEO Vision LLC is DiSC-assessment certified. If you want better results from your team, we can help. We begin by uncovering your natural leadership strengths and then put them to work so you can inspire, empower and activate your team and get the results you want. For more information on how to get started, I invite you to contact me for a 15-minute complimentary conversation to discuss how to start building a high-performing team today.